there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
