Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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