Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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