Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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