The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
