Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we're so committed to being not committed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
