There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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