How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
