The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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