At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize