How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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