last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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