we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
did i just pee glitter
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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