I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
