best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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