Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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