It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
