therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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