just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
