Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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