Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
