Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
