I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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