I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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