am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize