i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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