will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
