He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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