thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
