plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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