My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
