Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
NoShamevember. You game?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
