So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
