On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
