Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize