between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
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In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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