Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
