Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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