let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize