omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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