All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize