So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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