Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We talked him into tasing himself.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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