Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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