is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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