is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i came on her dog
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
