Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
