I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
