New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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