Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
