I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
