brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
