He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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