What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
