you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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