Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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