Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
