Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
