i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
